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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27161318">Let Me Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/najaemn/pseuds/najaemn'>najaemn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt Tsukishima Kei, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kuroo Tetsurou is there for him, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Past Relationship(s), Pining Kuroo Tetsurou, past tsukishima kei/yamaguchi tadashi - Freeform, past tsukiyama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:06:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27161318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/najaemn/pseuds/najaemn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima's first love hurts him too much that it makes him to scared to fall in love. His past relationship somehow made him feel like he didn't deserve to be loved. 10 Years after the broke up, in the volleyball squad reunion, they announce Yamaguchi and Yachi's engagement. And somehow, all the defence that Tsukishima previously pulled off, fell apart. And there comes Kuroo Tetsurou. Trying to convince Tsukishima that he deserve to be loved and deserve the whole world.</p>
<p>Or just a story about Kuroo spoiling Tsukishima with his love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let Me Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It has been ten years since they graduated from high school and played volleyball together. Each of them was now busy pursuing their carrier. Some of them were playing volleyball professionally, and some of them were only playing as a hobby. Today, the volleyball squad was holding a gathering. Players from Karasuno, Aoba Johsai, Nekoma, and even Fukuradoni would gather once again after a while. Tsukishima had a mixed feeling with the meeting that he would soon attend. At some point, he was excited as it has been a while since he met his friends due to his hectic schedule working as a doctor. But on the other side, Tsukishima was not sure if he was ready to meet him again.</p>
<p>Tsukishima just finished dressing up when his phone started to ring. He took a glance at the caller name before he picked up the phone.</p>
<p>“Oi, where are you?” asked the man from the other side of the phone.</p>
<p>“Does the king miss me that much?” </p>
<p>Teasing this specific friend of him had become a habit that Tsukishima did not wish to change ever since high school. His friendship with Kageyama had always been like that. They often argued and mocked each other but still, they trusted each other so much and Kageyama become the person where Tsukishima shared his secret with.</p>
<p>“Not in a chance.” Tsukishima chuckled hearing the cold and aggressive tone in Kageyama’s voice. It has been six months since the last time they met each other in person. Becoming a doctor almost took all the time in his life leaving Tsukishima in no choice. Kageyama himself was busy as a pro-volleyball player alongside with his boyfriend, the little giant, Hinata.</p>
<p>“I’m leaving my house now. Will be there in 15 minutes,” Tsukishima replied. He took his bag and sling it into his back and checked out his surrounding, making sure he did not leave something behind. Tsukishima wore his shoes with his phone still in his ear, hearing Kageyama and Hinata telling him to be quick.</p>
<p>Tsukishima was about to hang up the call before he heard Kageyama calling his name in a concerned tone.</p>
<p>“Tsukishima, will you be alright?” The question took Tsukishima off guard. He did not expect Kageyama to ask him the question. After all, it has been ten years since it happened. It has been ten years since he broke up with Yamaguchi and talk to him.</p>
<p>Tsukishima showed a bitter smile, “I’ll be fine. It’s been ten years anyway.”</p>
<p>Tsukishima could hear Kageyama sighing on the other side of the line. He seemed to be unsure with Tsukishima answer but decided not to bother it anymore. “Alright. Just so you know, I’ll be there if you need me.”</p>
<p>The phone call ended. Tsukishima took a deep breath before finally he took a step outside his front door and grabbed a cab.</p>
<p>Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were something that you called as childhood friends. It all started with Tsukishima who saved Yamaguchi from bullies when they were kids. Eventually, Yamaguchi started to follow Tsukishima around and tag him along playing volleyball since then. They started dating during the first year of high school. Tsukishima was not sure what drove him back then, but he ended up confessing his love to his best friend. The confession was a gamble. Thank god the feelings were mutual between the two. Because if he got rejected, Tsukishima did not have any plan on how to face Yamaguchi again.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi was afraid about their relationship to be known. So, Tsukishima respected Yamaguchi’s opinion and decided to hide their relationship from the public. Kageyama found out about their relationship was purely an accident. It was an embarrassing moment but thanks to that, Tsukishima now found someone to be able to talk about his relationship with.</p>
<p>Their relationship ran smoothly. They rarely fought and in Tsukishima eyes, he saw no problem in their relationship. Both respected and loved each other. At least, that was what Tsukishima thought before the graduation day.</p>
<p>On the graduation day, ten years ago, Yamaguchi called him to meet him on the rooftop. Tsukishima adhered his request with no burden. He thought Yamaguchi just wanted to have a casual talk or discussing how they should maintain their relationship in college or maybe just asking for a hug. Never he thought that the word of breaking up would come out from Yamaguchi’s mouth at that moment.<br/>
Tsukishima was dejected. He still remembered every single word that they exchanged that day. If only he could turn back time, he wished he could stop himself from hearing Yamaguchi’s reason for breaking up. He wished he just accepted his fate and left. He really wished he did not hear those words. The words that now had become the biggest scar in his heart.</p>
<p>Before he realised it, Tsukishima had arrived at the café where the reunion will be held. He paid for his cab and walked in towards the café. He took the stairs to the second floor as Kageyama previously told him on the phone. The place was very nice he admitted. There was a balcony with a city view. Tsukishima bet it would be much prettier when the night comes. The place seemed to be rented for today since Tsukishima could not see anyone except the familiar faces from his high school day.</p>
<p>“Tsukishimaa!” </p>
<p>The moment Tsukishima showed up, a loud and high-pitched voice called out his name, making the rest of the people in the room to look at his direction. Hinata Shoyo, the owner of that voice, came running towards Tsukishima trying to hug the blonde guy who used to be his teammates in high school. Thankfully, Tsukishima was used to this so he managed to dodge before the little orange-haired guy able to lay a hand on him and would eventually make a certain someone to look at him in a jealousy stare.</p>
<p>“Hinata, stop hugging everyone, you idiot!” There he was, the certain someone. For God sake, Tsukishima really did not understand how Kageyama was so easy to feel jealous. And to make it worse, he was dating one of the most outgoing and loud persons that Tsukishima ever met in his life.</p>
<p>Hinata pouted his mouth. Tsukishima ignored his sulking friend and greeted some other people before he sat on the empty chair next to Kuroo.</p>
<p>“Hey Tsukki,” greeted Iwaizumi who sat right across him. Oikawa, who was clinging into Iwaizumi’s arm also waved his hand and do his greeting.</p>
<p>“Hey boss,” Tsukishima replied.</p>
<p>Apparently, the hospital where Tsukishima was working, owned by the Iwaizumi family. Tsukishima did not know about that fact when he first started working in the hospital. It was one day when they had a meeting and Tsukishima saw the ace from Aoba Johsai sitting in the director seat. Even since both knew each other existence in the hospital, they started to talk or hung out together alongside with Oikawa, obviously.</p>
<p>Oikawa had become a famous model now. It was very normal to see the ex-captain of Aoba Johsai face in most of the big advertisement from a well-known brand in the street. Sometime, when he finished his schedule before Iwaizumi off from work, Oikawa would visit the hospital either bothering his boyfriend in his office or bothering Tsukishima whenever a director meeting being held.</p>
<p>“You should’ve called me. I can pick you up you know?” Tsukishima turned his head to his side. This time, it was Kuroo. Weirdly enough, aside from Iwaizumi who was technically his superior at work and Oikawa who often visited the hospital, the ex-Nekoma captain became the next person that Tsukishima met the most.</p>
<p>Maybe it was due to the nature of Kuroo, the CEO of the company where Oikawa signed contact under, but the four of them hung out together a lot. And as time passed by, Tsukishima and Kuroo started to hang out even more often. They used to be quite close in high school in the first place. Not very close but still close enough for Tsukishima to talked with occasionally. Kuroo was the person who helped him improve as a middle blocker and Tsukishima would not forget about that. They used to text each other in high school from time to time. But the frequency decrease when Tsukishima started to attend the university. And during those times, Kuroo was just another acquaintance for Tsukishima. So, Tsukishima did not feel the need to contact each other frequently.</p>
<p>“Ah right, I forgot that I have a personal driver named Kuroo Tetsurou.” Kuroo rolled his eyes in response, already used to Tsukishima’s snarky comments. </p>
<p>“Ouch, driver zone,” Oikawa commented. Kuroo gave him a meaningful stare while Oikawa stuck out his tongue in replies. Both Tsukishima and Iwaizumi ignored the sight. Stuff like this always happened whenever they hung out. Iwaizumi tugged Oikawa closer to his side, telling the brunette to eat before Oikawa blabbered again.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Tsukishima took a glance at his watch. It is already 9 PM which means they have been eating and talking for four hours. It was a bit of surprise for him since he was able to withstand the whole chaos for this long. If it was a dinner with his superior nor friends from work, he probably already excused himself a long time ago.</p>
<p>“So, Yamaguchi,” Tanaka’s voice caught the attention. Or more especially, Tsukishima’s attention. “I heard you and Yachi are engaged now.”</p>
<p>Everyone turned their head towards the two protagonists who were sitting next to each other. A lot of whistling and teasing can be heard, making the newly engaged couple’s face flushing red.<br/>
“So, when is the wedding?” Nishinoya asked.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. He softly answered, “We haven’t set the date yet. We’ll definitely invite everyone to the wedding though.” The crowd’s cheering was getting louder. Yachi even hid her face behind Yamaguchi with his soon-to-be husband stroking her hair.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe my junior get married before me,” Sugawara complained, with a pouty face, receiving a laugh from everyone.</p>
<p>“Suga-san, you’re technically married to Sawamura-san since long time ago,” Akashi commented. Suga almost chocked his drink when he heard that. His face was flushing red and things were not even better for his so-called husband, the Karasuno ex-captain, Daichi. Daichi had his hand wrapped on Suga’s waist. But his head turned to the opposite side of his boyfriend, avoiding eye contact. This couple, Tsukishima swears they always had been acting like a married couple since high school yet are still so easy to blush red from a single tease.</p>
<p>“Iwa-chan, I want to get married too,” said Oikawa as he snuggled his head on Iwaizumi’s neck. Was not sure whether it was due to the alcohol influence or just Oikawa being Oikawa.<br/>
Iwaizumi used his chopstick to take another piece of a fried dumpling, seemed not to be bothered with Oikawa’s statement. “Same-sex marriage isn’t accepted legally in Japan. Why bothers?” he responded calmly. </p>
<p>Oikawa pursed his lips hearing his boyfriend’s answer. “But still, I want to marry Iwa-chan. I want to become Iwaizumi Tooru,” he sulked. Iwaizumi smiled hearing Oikawa’s statement. He put down his chopsticks and drank a few gulps of water before he cupped the brunette’s face.</p>
<p>“Listen here, Tooru,” Iwaizumi command, with a deep and soothing voice. Oikawa just blinked as he stares into Iwaizumi olive green eyes with a pouty mouth. “Even without marriage, you will always belong to me and I will always be yours. Whether it is Oikawa Tooru or Iwaizumi Tooru, you will always be my Tooru,” Iwaizumi paused and gave Oikawa a short peck. A warm smile grew as he saw his boyfriend turning into a tomato. “Do you understand that Tooru?”</p>
<p>Oikawa nodded before he burry his face into Iwaizumi’s chest. Tsukishima shook his head before he took another sip of alcohol. If Daichi and Suga were the easily embarrassed couple, Iwaizumi and Oikawa were the total opposite of them. These two were shameless and take zero interest to the single dog before showing public display affection.</p>
<p>“Wow, do you guys really need to do it in front of us?” Kuroo complained.</p>
<p>Oikawa turned his head to face Kuroo and said teasingly, “Pfft, you’re just jealous because you’re a coward who– “ </p>
<p>Before Oikawa managed to finish his sentence, Iwaizumi shut the man’s mouth with his free hand indifferently and put his boyfriend’s head on his shoulder, trying to stop whatever the drunk Oikawa was trying to say. “You’re drunk, Tooru. Just sleep,” Iwaizumi interjected.</p>
<p>If Tsukishima were in a better mood, he would probably pester Oikawa to spill whatever he had been hiding and tease Kuroo for the rest of his life. But today, especially after the announcement of Yamaguchi and Yachi’s engagement, Tsukishima could not help but had a mixed feeling in his heart. Half of him was happy for the happy occasion. Yamaguchi was his best friend after all. So, it was natural for Tsukishima to be happy over his friend’s happiness. But on the other side, the happy occasion broke his heart. It opened the old wound that Tsukishima had painstakingly tried to cover. It made him realise a painful truth.</p>
<p>In the end, the person that Yamaguchi loved was never him in the first place.</p>
<p>“Tsukki,”</p>
<p>Kuroo’s gentle voice awoke Tsukishima from his daydreaming. He looked at the man beside him, eyes still unfocused, only half-conscious.</p>
<p>“You ok? You seem to be in distress,” Kuroo asked, in concerned. Kuroo put his hand on the blonde’s back, rubbing it for a few times trying to reassure the younger for no reason why. “Your complexion doesn’t look good. Are you not feeling well or something?” he asked again. Tsukishima blinked a few times before he shook his head, seemed to be taken aback with how Kuroo noticed the change of mood in him.</p>
<p>“I’m fine. Just alcohol,” Tsukishima lied. Tsukishima looked away from Kuroo’s attentive gaze. He poured more alcohol to his glass, tried to drink it before Kuroo stopped his hand and he switched Tsukishima’s glass of alcohol into a glass of mineral water.</p>
<p>“You don’t look ‘fine’ to me,” Kuroo said, indifferently. “Stop drinking. You’ve drunk enough.”</p>
<p>Tsukishima just sighed and follow what Kuroo told him to. He was not in the condition to argue with the older man and he personally also agreed that he drank enough. It was the best for him to stop before he started rambling nonsense in the drunken state. He did not want to accidentally spill his inner thought and revealed his and Yamaguchi relationship in front of everyone for sure. Not only that it would upset Yamaguchi, it certainly would make him lose face.</p>
<p>The reunion lasted for another two hours. People started to go back home within the various state. Some were extremely drunk like Nishinoya, Tanaka, and Hinata, some were half drunk, and some were not able to drink any alcohol since they need to drive and took care of their drunken partner. Taking the advantage of the chaos that was currently happening and people who started leaving one by one, Tsukishima walked to the balcony. He breathed the fresh night air as he enjoyed the night view of Tokyo. The sky was clear with a crescent moon decorating it. Tsukishima had always like doing this. Taking his time and watched the night sky above him. Ever since he was a kid, it always helped him to revitalise his mind, as if all his concern vanished just like that.</p>
<p>“Tsukki?”</p>
<p>A very familiar voice called his name from behind. The voice that he missed but did not wish to hear. The voice that he had been longing but wanting to be forgotten.</p>
<p>Tsukishima looked behind him, facing eye-to-eye to the owner of the voice and smiled faintly. “Hey, Yams.”</p>
<p>“You’re still the same, aren’t you? Looking at the night sky when nobody’s around,” he said as he walked towards Tsukishima, placing both of his hands on the balcony rail, and looked up to the sky.<br/>
Tsukishima hummed in reply. It has been a while since the last time they talk, creating an awkward tension between them. Ever since they broke up, they never contacted each other personally. The only interaction they had was probably through the Karasuno group chat which Tsukishima muted due to the god knows how much Nishinoya and Tanaka loved to spam.</p>
<p>“It’s been a while isn’t it?” Yamaguchi broke the silence.</p>
<p>“Yeah, and you seem to be happier these days,” Tsukishima replied, eyes still gazing the night sky up above.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi chuckled, “Ah, do I?”</p>
<p>Tsukishima hummed again. But this time he turned his head to see Yamaguchi side-line profile. “Must be because of Yachi I believe.”</p>
<p>Tsukishima could see how Yamaguchi’s lips curved into a big smile the moment he mentioned the ex-Karasuno manager’s name. “Yeah, I guess so,” the freckled boy responded.</p>
<p>The taller man lowered his head and left out a small laugh. The unfamiliar feeling that lingered in his heart made him want to laugh at himself. Tsukishima cussed himself for loving the greyish-green haired boy so much that even after he got hurt, he could not make himself hate the man before him.</p>
<p>“Congrats on your engagement. I wish you a happy life,” Tsukishima congratulated him in the calmest manner that he can, trying his best to avoid the bitterness that he felt in his heart.<br/>
“Thanks, Tsukki,” the smaller guy uttered. Yamaguchi took a long pause before the asked, “What about you?”</p>
<p>Tsukishima frowned his eyebrows, did not understand the meaning behind his childhood friend’s question. “What about me?”</p>
<p>“Are you seeing someone these days?”</p>
<p>It was a lie if Tsukishima said the question did not make him dumbfounded. That question surely took him off guard. Or to be precise, the fact that those words came out from Yamaguchi’s mouth was the one that made him scatter-brained.</p>
<p>Tsukishima fixed his glasses to hide his embarrassment and tried to calm himself down before he replied, “Nope. I don’t.”</p>
<p>“Why? I bet people are lining up for you.” Well, he was not exactly wrong. Both girls and boys tried to hit on Tsukishima in college and even in his workplace. Few of them do catch Tsukishima attention. But thanks to his experience with a certain someone, Tsukishima tried to push those people away instead. And his habit in making snarky comments surely did not make things better. It was not because Tsukishima could not move on from Yamaguchi, it was more like he got scared.</p>
<p>The blonde glasses man sighed, he bent down a little and put his elbow on the railing before he propped his chin in his hand, eyes fixated to the bright crescent moon. “I guess my first love hurts me so much that now I’m too afraid to fall in love,” he confessed.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi looked at his taller friend in surprise, did not expect him to confess and be honest with his feelings. It took Yamaguchi a while before he could go back to his sense. He felt bad about this, but he knew there was nothing that he can do about it. “Tsukki, I– “ </p>
<p>“No need to apologise, Yams. It wasn’t your fault,” Tsukishima cut him off. He paused a little bit before he continued with a bitter smile, “In fact, it was no one’s fault.”</p>
<p> No one dared to utter another word. The tension was awkward with them keeping their silence and busy with their own mind. Tsukishima was not planning to say another word about it anyway. Things might be quite unpleasant between them from now on, but at least Tsukishima could sigh in relief after letting out what was bothering in his heart.</p>
<p>A sudden sound of phone ringing was the one who saved both from the long awkwardness. It was Yamaguchi’s and Tsukishima could guess already who the caller was. Yamaguchi took the call and said a few words before he hung up.</p>
<p>“I should be going,” said Yamaguchi as he put his phone back in his pants pocket. Tsukishima just nodded and uttered his agreement. He did not have any plan on keeping his ex for any longer anyway. “You should be going too,” he added.</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>“Then, I’ll get going. See you later, Tsukki.” He did not know when the later was meant to be. But he could guess that it would be the day when Yamaguchi and Yachi officially become a pair of husband and wife. Both waved their hands as a goodbye. By the moment Tsukishima could not see Yamaguchi’s figure in his sight, he left out a deep sigh and covered his face with both of his hands.</p>
<p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p>
<p>He cussed in his head. His hands started to trail on his curly hair and messing it out in frustration. He wanted to cry so badly. He wanted someone to comfort him, saying that everything would be alright. He just wanted someone to talk to, someone that he can put his trust completely, someone that he can count on. Too bad that someone was probably just an imaginary figure for him. </p>
<p>“Hey there,”</p>
<p>Tsukishima straightened his body in surprised. He thought he was the only person left in the café. He did not expect a raven-haired man would come out from the bathroom looking at him attentively and full of concern.</p>
<p>Kuroo Tetsurou.</p>
<p>“You’ve been there the whole time?” Tsukishima asked without looking at the latter to hide his reddened eyes. </p>
<p>Kuroo walked towards his direction and stood beside him. “I was at the bathroom and couldn’t find the right timing to come out,” he explained.</p>
<p>“So, you heard?”</p>
<p>“From the very beginning.” Kuroo’s answered made Tsukishima sighed even louder. Out of every person, why it happened to be him? Not that Tsukishima hated Kuroo or something like that. It was just, he did not wish for Kuroo to see the weak side of him.</p>
<p>“You know, I won’t force you, but you can always share your concern with me. I might not be able to give you an advice every time, but I promise I will listen to you. Also,” Kuroo paused. He looked at the taller man beside him and smiled. “You can use my shoulder to cry.”</p>
<p>Those words somehow broke down all the defence that Tsukishima had built with hard work. The moment he looked at the older man, tears started to flow instantly. Tsukishima bit his lips, still trying his best to suppress his urge to cry. Kuroo sighed at the sight of the stubborn Tsukishima. The younger had always been a strong headed one since the first time they met. He always presented himself as a strong man and put a mask of an obnoxious person. But Kuroo knew, ever since the first time they met, he knew there was something else behind the blonde’s snarky comments. And today, for the first<br/>
time, Kuroo saw the man behind those masks.</p>
<p>Kuroo pulled Tsukishima into his embrace, placing the younger’s forehead onto his shoulder. One of his hands were caressing the blonde’s hair, while the other one wrapped around the man’s waist, securing Tsukishima from falling. Tsukishima started to cry as both of his hands clutched at Kuroo’s shirt. His body was trembling, and his breath was getting shorter. Kuroo could feel the wetness in his shoulder but he ignored it and tightening their hug instead. Kuroo whispered some comforting words to Tsukishima’s ear, occasionally reminding the young doctor that he would there for him.</p>
<p>Tsukishima broke the hug once his sobbing stopped. He took off his glasses as it gets dewy and uncomfortable from crying. He rubbed his eyes before Kuroo wiped the leftover tears with both of his thumbs and smiled. Tsukishima’s eyes were red, his eyelashes seemed to be heavier as it was damped from the tears making him look drowsy. It was a normal sight from a person who just finished crying, but Kuroo swore he just saw an angel.</p>
<p>“Come on, I’ll drive you home,” said Kuroo with his hand still rubbing the top of Tsukishima’s head.</p>
<p>“I’m ok.” Tsukishima’s voice cracked a little bit. Kuroo once again could not help but grow a gentle smile on his face. Even after crying hard and still sniffling, it still not stopping Tsukishima from being stubborn.</p>
<p>“But I insisted, Kei.” Kuroo’s voice sounded gentle and calming, did not seem to force him in any way. But Tsukishima knew the raven guy would not give up from persuading him to drive him home if he rejected his offer. And after all those crying which took almost all his strength, Tsukishima could only sigh and nodded, complying the order request who was now having a big grin on his face.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>On the way to Tsukishima’s home, no one said a word. More like no one able to say a word because Tsukishima fell asleep almost immediately. Crying made him sleepy. And now he felt grateful to himself since he ended up accepting Kuroo’s offer anyway. If he kept being stubborn and left by himself, he probably would not be able to enjoy the short nap after cry.</p>
<p>“Tsukki, we’ve arrived,” said Kuroo, softly as he tried not to startle the sleeping Tsukishima. Seeing the other not giving him any reaction, Kuroo brought his hand to Tsukishima’s cheek, caressing it softly with his index finger. His action allowed him to wake Tsukishima up. His lashes were fluttering as he opened his eyes, still not fully awake. Kuroo chuckled seeing the cute appearance before him before helping the younger to unbuckle his seatbelt.</p>
<p>Tsukishima took some time to regain his conscious back. His hand was on the car handle, was about to open the door and took his leave before he paused, contemplated on something. “Kuroo,” he whispered. Kuroo who had been watching the younger the whole time hummed in reply, waiting for Tsukishima to continue.</p>
<p>“Do you want to come in?”</p>
<p>Kuroo blinked in disbelief, trying to digest the man’s word, making sure he heard it correctly. This was not the first time Kuroo dropped Tsukishima off. In fact, it always Kuroo who took Tsukishima home after they hung out. But never in many times, Tsukishima offered Kuroo to pay a visit to his home. Not even for courtesy. </p>
<p>Seeing the unresponsive Kuroo, Tsukishima coughed in embarrassment, seemed to aware of how odd the word that he just blurted out. “We can have a drink together and you can stay for a night. I just,” Tsukishima sighed, “I just need someone to talk to,” he murmured.</p>
<p>Kuroo had both of his hands on the steering wheel making an X shape. His head was rested on top of it facing Tsukishima, grinning. Tsukishima could feel Kuroo eyeing him. So, he looked outside the window, intentionally avoiding the stare that Kuroo gave him.</p>
<p>“Stop looking at me like that,” said Tsukishima. “If you don’t want to then– “</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>Tsukishima turned his head, finally facing the raven guy eye-to-eye, a little bit flustered, “W-what?”</p>
<p>Kuroo giggled, “I said okay. I’ll keep you company for the night.” </p>
<p>“Let’s get inside then.”</p>
<p>They finally got out of the car. Tsukishima walked ahead with Kuroo followed him behind. They took an elevator to the fourth floor and arrived at Tsukishima’s apartment. The inside of Tsukishima’s house was exactly like how Kuroo imagined it to be. It was clean and very well organised, projecting the owner’s personality very well. The design was simple, dominated by the colour white and cream. He could see some dinosaurs’ figurine displayed inside a glass shelf in the living room. </p>
<p><em>Very much like Tsukishima</em>, Kuroo thought.</p>
<p>“You can sit on the sofa. I’ll bring out the wine.” Kuroo nodded and followed Tsukishima’s command. He sat on the sofa and took a glance once in a while towards Tsukishima who was busy preparing their ‘drinking night’ session in the kitchen.</p>
<p>Soon enough, two glasses and a bottle of sparkling rose wine were placed in the table alongside with a slice of strawberry shortcake. Kuroo laughed as he saw it which he got a sideway glace from Tsukishima in reply. Kuroo did not give any further comment, making the displeased look disappear from Tsukishima’s face. Indeed, this style was very Tsukishima and he got no complaint about it. </p>
<p>Both started drinking in silence. Tsukishima seemed to be unlikely to start the conversation about his relationship with Yamaguchi. Kuroo tapped his fingers on the table, creating a rhythm. He stole some glance to the younger boy, checking out his mood before he broke out the silence, “So, about you and the freckled boy,” he said, “will you talk about it?”</p>
<p>Tsukishima took a deep breath as he propped his chin with his free hand. “You see, Yamaguchi and I was just like you and Kenma or Iwaizumi and Oikawa. We met when we were kids and never got separated since then,” he explained. “At first, I thought I felt comfortable around Yamaguchi was due to the fact he has been by my side for a long time. However, one day I started to feel different. My heart raced whenever he was around, and I felt jealous when I saw him with someone else. I’m not an idiot, so I know exactly what those feelings mean.</p>
<p>“I don’t exactly remember what triggered me back then but after the Spring High Tournament, I decided to confess to him despite knowing that he’s not bent. It was a total gamble but something in me suddenly gave me the courage that I didn’t know exist,” Tsukishima took another sip of wine before he continued, “surprisingly, he said yes to my confession. And so, we started dating.”</p>
<p>Kuroo paid attention to the younger man keenly. Tsukishima seemed to have a stolid expression, but Kuroo could sense the distress in each word. Seeing Tsukishima like this made his heart ached. He just wanted to hug him and spoiled him, giving Tsukishima the happiness that he deserved. He just wanted to make him smile and laugh genuinely. Because God knew how beautiful Tsukishima’s smile was.</p>
<p>Tsukishima swirled the wine in his glass with a reddened nose, seemed to be a little tipsy. After all, this was not his first alcohol of the day. His lips curved into a bitter smile as he had a reminiscent of his past relationship. “We kept it a secret since Yamaguchi didn’t want to know about him dating a guy. And I honestly didn’t mind at all, so I followed what he asked me too. Even after we spent almost three years in relationships, the furthest thing that we did was a kiss on the cheek. I didn’t think too much about it back then. After all, we were young and so I thought he just didn’t want to rush things up. But then– “ </p>
<p>Tsukishima’s voice cracked. Kuroo immediately put down his glass on the table and placing his hand on top of Tsukishima’s, rubbing it with his thumbs to give the blonde a sense of security. “I saw how close he was with Yachi. I could see how happy he is whenever Yachi’s around. I kinda notice it back then; how Yamaguchi might have feelings for Yachi. But I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to admit the man I loved was actually in love with someone else,</p>
<p>“After our graduation ceremony, he called me to meet him in the rooftop. There, he asked for a breakup. And then, he said something. Something that I wish to unhear.” Tsukishima eyes started to get glossy. He took another deep breath, trying his best to calm down.</p>
<p>“What did he say, Kei?” Kuroo asked, softly.</p>
<p>“He said that for the past years, he had been thinking about his feelings about me. He wasn’t sure whether he liked me as a lover or just liked me as a friend. He said that he accepted my confession because he sensed it as an obligation, as a payback for what I did when I helped him as a kid. And he realised that all of those was wrong. He never loved me like how I loved him,” Tsukishima paused. Tears started flowing the moment his eyes met with Kuroo’s grey eyes. “Three years. And those three years was a lie. Even after all those years I still can’t make him fall in love with me. In the end, I was never loved. I didn’t deserve to be loved. Right, Kuroo?”</p>
<p>Kuroo pulled Tsukishima into a hug. Tsukishima’s words pissed him off. It was wrong, those words were all bullshitted. Tsukishima deserved all the good things in this world. Tsukishima was one of the best gifts that God ever gave him. Kuroo was delighted, feeling grateful that he met someone like Tsukishima. Tsukishima deserved to be loved. And if the world refused to do it, then he would do it himself. He would show him how much Tsukishima deserved.</p>
<p>Kuroo cupped Tsukishima’s face with both of his hands. “You’re wrong,” he said. Tsukishima was bewildered with how indignant Kuroo’s tone was. It was the very first time he heard Kuroo speaking in that kind of tone. “You’re wrong, Kei. You deserve to be loved; you deserve the whole world. You deserve happiness and you deserve everything.”</p>
<p>Tsukishima saw the serious expression in Kuroo’s face. He seriously did not know what made the older man so angry. “What the fuck you’re talking about?”</p>
<p>“Let me show you,” Tsukishima frowned, confused with whatever Kuroo was talking about. “Let me show you how much you deserve to be loved.”</p>
<p>Tsukishima brushed Kuroo’s hands away. “The fuck Kuroo. Stop spouting nonsense!” Tsukishima was about to get angry, but then he saw the other man’s face. He seemed firm and unwavering. Kuroo looked straight into Tsukishima’s eyes, making the later to flinch a little bit. He never saw this man became this serious. Even during the volleyball match, he could still the mischiefs in those grey eyes. But this time, those mischiefs sheared off.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to love me back. Just,” Kuroo took both of Tsukishima’s hand and held it tight, “just let me love you.”</p>
<p>“Allow me to love you, Kei.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Part two will be filled with fluff hehehe.<br/>If you have any suggestion, critics, or anything, please tell me. I'm trying my best to improve my writing everytime</p>
<p>You can find me on twitter @yunddingg</p>
<p>Thanks for reading^^</p></blockquote></div></div>
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